I always loved going to Spain. Ever since I was a kid who practiced her "Hola senorita" while twirling around in my flamenco dress every night in the mirror before bed. I grew up idolizing Shakira, Madonna´s "la isla bonita" video and Selena´s "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom" song. Not to mention Enrique Iglesias was my first two WORDS.
For my birthday some years ago, mom and dad bought tickets for the Enrique Iglesias concert. I was absolutely giddy and wide eyed the entire drive up. It was one of the best nights of my life. Enrique was just... amazing. He´s so talented, and humble and brilliant and I just basked in it all, taking it all in, hoping it was a dream I would never wake up from. Mom and I kept looking at each other like "is this real life?" I was on a Enrique Iglesias concert! IT WAS MAGIC BABY!
In the years to come, I still loved Spain. There was always that innocent excited feeling I got every time I flew into the country. And I remember as I got older, thinking I was supposed to leave this side of me behind. And I probably pretended to hate it too. But deep down I just couldn´t play. I couldn´t lie to myself. My Spanish culture loving heart just ached to be there.
For the last couple of years, even though I had been traveling the world and accomplishing so many "dreams"... there was a part of me that refused to acknowledge another dream of mine.
Learn a new language and move to that country. Moving. Again. (I moved to Bali for a couple months back in 2019)
Moving out of Norway always seemed like a good idea, but the idea itself also terrified me. In Norway I was comfortable. I had almost convinced myself that the comfortable life was better than the unkown. The thought really would haunt me. Because I was always worried deep down that I would be dissapointed in myself if I never really tried. I wouldn´t even entertain the thought. And I dont know why. That´s not my personality at all. But the only way I could explain it is that whenever the thought would come to my mind, I would immediately justify why staying in Norway was a perfectly fine scenario. And I half believed myself too.
And then... (sigh)... one night Magnus (my brother) and I watched `La La Land`.
It was as if Damien Chazelle directed that movie JUST to light a fire inside of me.
The same night after watching that movie, I could no longer keep the thought in the back of my mind. It was right at the forefront, screaming to be acknowledged. I was laying in bed at night right before drifting off to sleep and listening to `Shallow` from Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper. It is such a powerful song and even more powerful when you´re in bed in the middle of the night, emotionally vulnerable after having watched Ryan Gosling top dance for two hours. The volume was all the way up, and I even had tears running down my cheeks to this specific part of the song
In fact, here is an actual journal entry I just dug up from July of 2021:
"I just saw La La Land with Magnus for the second time. Everything was different seeing it this time. The whole movie had me mesmerized. I was so aware of how beautiful the film was, but I was even more aware that it was more than just a film. "Here´s to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem"
It occured to me that the rest of the world does view dreamers as foolish. And I´ve never really seen it that way. I´ve never felt foolish for wanting to grow up to be a movie star at age six. Or a famous pop artist when I was fourteen. Or a vouge journalist at age sixteen. Or a writer at age nineteen. I´ve never felt foolish. I might be naive, and I´m quite sure I´m getting ahead of myself, but I feel like I have the world in my hands.»
It wasn´t until seeing that movie that I realized something.
I was laying in bed at night right before drifting off to sleep and listening to `Shallow` from Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper. It is such a powerful song and even more powerful when you´re in bed in the middle of the night, emotionally vulnerable after having watched Ryan Gosling top dance for two hours. The volume was all the way up, and I even had tears running down my cheeks to this specific part of the song
"Is there somethin else youre searchin for? Im fallin. In all the good times, I find myself longin for change."
That song had nothing to do with La La Land, but that was the song that was playing when I finally understood. I finally understood what that line from the movie meant.
"Heres to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem"
It´s not the dreamers that are foolish. It´s the dreamers who don´t do anything about their dreams. They are the foolish ones, And as I sat there in my bed, I realized that I was the foolish one.
And that was the night I decided to learn a new language and move to that country.
And as of today, almost to the exact day, Ivé learned Spanish and lived in Barcelona for 3 months.
Dream big kids,
Love,
Sofie
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